I'm going to go ahead and spit this one out, not because it's easy for me to talk about, but because I just need to get it out there, both to get it off my chest and out of the way, and in the hope that it might help some hypothetical person who might be considering consulting an astrologer for their problems. We will return to our regularly scheduled perkitude soon!
My father, because of his many problems, was never an emotionally well man. But because he was convinced he had achieved initiation into higher realms of knowledge, he was arrogant in thinking he had all his problems under control. In fact, he decried all other counselors (besides himself!) as ignorant quacks with no understanding of whatever subtleties he saw in his own situations.
His own counsel was... the counsel of the Stars!!! Yes, astrology. Sigh.
Most of my father’s friends were women who were emotionally vulnerable, either because of a great transition like recent or imminent divorce, or because they just had a screwed-up life full of hardship.
My father was an emotional predator. He would do their astrological charts (for about 25 dollars) and give them counseling based on his chart interpretation. These women thought him immensely wise and sensitive. He always knew exactly the right thing to say to make them depend on him. This usually led to sleeping with them.
When my mom divorced him, he began corresponding with a woman in another state whose chart he had done. She had a demanding, emotionally distant mother who relied on her for everything, and she had just gotten out of a marriage to a much younger man from another country-- he befriended her, persuaded her to marry him so he could more easily get a green card, then after a few years he drained her bank account and divorced her. You can easily imagine her fragile state of mind and heart.
My father told her it sounded like she just needed to be held.
This, of course, achieved the result of making her fall head-over-heels in love with him. She asked him to marry her before they had even met face to face.
He’s very charming early on, apparently, but it wasn’t long until he started emotionally abusing her in just the same way he had done with my mother-- blaming her for everything, making impossible demands, constantly needling her self-esteem. Classic abusive behavior.
Six years later he moved out, but she insisted on staying married to him so he can keep using her health insurance.
So. He. Can. Keep. Using. Her. Health. Insurance.
If only this were an isolated incident! Alas, it is a pattern I've witnessed throughout my life. He advertises his services as an astrologer in a periodical with seemingly receptive readership. A woman, scared and emotionally vulnerable, requests a natal chart plus interpretation, which he supplies for a relatively small fee. She writes back, impressed with the accuracy of the chart interpretation, and asks his advice on a knotty personal problem. A correspondence begins. They meet face to face and begin a physical affair. Repeat until one of them grows tired of the arrangement. It is emotional abuse, pure and simple, to con people, not out of their money, but out of their love.
I remain convinced my father is 100 percent a believer in what he does-- because if he were of a mind to grift, he could have retired a millionaire.
My observed profile of a typical person seeking astrological guidance:
Divorced or with marriage on the rocks
From a background of abuse
Desperate for answers, desperate for approval
I hate astrology. I have seen it ruin lives.
Memorial Day redux
11 months ago