Have some CARNIVALS!!! :)

Gah! I have been a slackguard of a blogger of late! My only excuse is that for some freaky logistical reason, December is the busiest month of the year in my chosen profession.

BUT!!! Let this not stop me from link-announcing two of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE BLOG CARNIVALS!!!

The first is, and I hate that I missed submitting to this one, the year-end edition of The Skeptics' Circle, #102, up at one of my favorite blogs (and favoritely-named), Happy Jihad's House of Pancakes! Go give a look-see. A good time is always to be had at Bing McGhandi's place!

The second is the Fabulous Numero TRES of Skeptical Parent Crossing, over at ANOTHER of my favorite blogs by one of my favorite bloggers, Podblack Cat! ...Hey, I think I know that Santa!

Another one

My latest slice of raw insanity pie is now finished. I will be taking the day off before I start my other work, because I am yammering incessantly on the internet with full-on exclamation-pointedy-smileyface goodness, and that can only mean I am too sleep-deprived to make decisions about anything important, like punctuation.

A linkfest, celebrated in song...

Cyberlizard's collection of blog and news items today was so great that it moved me to GET RHYMEY!!! Cruise on over there for a link-see, and to lay the blame at his feet where it belongs. ;D

Cake request for toddler Hitler,
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Got turned down and now Dad's bitter,
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Bibles passed out by our soldiers,
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Might mean that we're dumb as boulders,
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Atheists and gays have friction,
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Cops bust up some science fiction,
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Brits love oral contraceptives,
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Now we all are feeling festive!
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Businesses by ghosts protected,
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Godless folks can't be elected,
Fa la la la la la la la la!
How's the War On Christmas going?
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Don't ask me, 'cause now it's snowing!!!
Fa la la la la la la la la!

For those who asked for it...

Here's one. It doesn't have steampunk crossbows or evil-looking biomedical machinery, but it does have a hot bird.

Patties and Links!

I HAVE to link this-- my conscience compels me!!! EVERYONE ought to watch this short film made by a friend of The Skepbitch-- it's called "Bang Band You Are Bread" and is about a sad loaf of bread that seeks REVENGE on Dr. Atkins!

I am TOTALLY going to eat that lollipop.

Update

I have been a HORRIBLE BLOG-SLACKER of late, but it's mostly because I have nothing interesting to say! I've been working to meet this deadline and still be a decent mommy, and it's hard for me to think on anything else too deeply.

Savage Love Cast and Astronomy Cast have succored me through the long hard stretches of work, which is solitary and Way Too Quiet if not livened up with human voices. From these podcasts I have learned, respectively, that people need to communicate more, and that there are particles in the universe and they MOVE!!! Yes, this is about all my brain has been able to absorb at this time. I find I can answer specific questions when they are put to me, and my spouse tells me I know way more about the history of physics than I think I do-- I just cannot synopsize anything I have heard at this time. Gah. Brain Fry.

My problem with physics is that I do not understand it on a MATHEMATICAL level, and because I can't do the math, or even set up the problems, the entire discipline is rendered opaque to me. Seriously-- PV=nRT, F=MA, I know these things, yet I haven't internalized their workings to the point that I can even SET UP the proper solution to a word problem! I feel incomplete as a human for my utter failure to absorb the laws that govern our universe. This is important stuff, dammit, and I'm missing out!!! In Harry Potter terms, I am totally a squib! On the other hand, understanding of biochemical pathways come easily to me, as does the rote memorization of hundreds of scientific binomials. Go figure. People are weird. This is all I have been able to absorb at this time.

YET ALL IS NOT LOST!!! In rummaging through the Free Books box at our local used book store, I came across a WORKBOOK OF BASIC PHYSICS PROBLEMS!!!!! WITH SOLUTIONS!!! AND EXPLANATIONS!!! I am TOTALLY going to WORK IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH until I UNDERSTAND IT!!!!!!!!!! Or bash my head against it until I decide I need professional help.

My deadline has been met and I am MOSTLY recovered! Hawt demon-slaying Nephilim chixx0rz with steampunk crossbows have been drawn, cover painting painted, and now on to the next project, without pause for breath. Much to my chagrin, for my next project, I am once again taking money from the Industrial Woo Complex. I do so about once per year. My only excuse is that money is tight and this company pays extremely well and are great to work for. I am living a lie. *hangs head in shame* I feel like I'm professionally in the closet. But I've yet to find a revenue source from the skeptical, scientific or atheist community that can actually PAY me! (I have done a lot of work gratis for scientific reports and other publications.)

Add to this the pressure of my son's teachers having discovered my website and actually LIKE my stuff, and thus their Xmas presents will be framed prints, and I had to mat the prints and assemble the frames last night. I am actually extremely grateful for this, as we cannot afford more present-buying since our CENTRAL HEATING bit the dust the other day and MEGABUCK$ were shelled out to fix it, then we were informed of a code violation that will apparently cost MORE MEGABUCK$$ to fix! We're putting that off until next week. :P On the bright side, the Friday-house-bound son was delighted to giggles by the procession of HVAC dudes through our house. He knows all their names. :) Yes, our county declared a Snow Day last Friday, despite no snow actually having fallen. (lol-- that's life in the South for ya!)

Kindergarten Holiday Party on Thursday. If I can, I will bake; if I can't, I will send a pumpkin pie (store-bought). Family Presents nearly wrapped and nearly shipped. I would have died of stress if not for teh intertubes. Despite all this, this is actually the most relaxed, organized, and prepared I have been before any Yule since I've been an independent adult. I thank the oxcarbazepine!

So, how're the holidays (and seculardays) going for you? :)

Random thoughts on a Tuesday morning

Can't sleep... deadline will eat me...

The way I felt when I got up this a.m. vs the way I feel now, I am beginning to think paroxetine HCl and coffee with milk may be the cure for colds, flus, and hangovers. Heck, it may be the cure for death!

Speaking of which, the idea of the cessation of my consciousness was really pissing me off last night. I know that as an atheist and a rationalist I'm supposed to be a grownup about death, but the fact of death really annoys me and makes me angry. I don't WANT to cease to be! I don't WANT there to be a forever-end to the precession of my thoughts and self-awareness! Then, there was this morning when I feel like, "Meh, it won't be so bad, and hey, I won't even notice it!... Unlike this deadline and this headache..."

Well, back to work! Have a great day, everyone! :)

Cicada season

The inimitable Zooillogix has brought this memory to the forefront, with one of their splendid wildlife photos (the cicada one, duh).

Cicada season was a particular childhood delight to my brother and me. We looked forward to it every summer. One of us would find the first shed husk of the year, and then the great hunt would be on!!! My favorite outdoor activity was getting out there to collect the husks-- the thrill of searching, the thrill of sussing out the most likely shed-spots, the thrill of finding them in new and unexpected places, and heck, just the thrill of FINDING! Each tiny, golden exoskeleton was like a treasure. Each more finely articulated than the most painstakingly-crafted artifact, with every minute hair intact, each translucent eye polished to mirror-perfection. They amazed and fascinated us, and we wanted to collect them all! We were mad with CICADA FEVER!!! It was like a season-long EASTER EGG HUNT, only the benefits were, um, less easily communicated to the casual observer.

Back then, I saved every husk I harvested. (Think on that for a moment, won't you. "Why yes, I do come from a family of compulsive hoarders, why do you ask?") I had BOXES and JARS FULL of the things. I called it my collection of "locust shells." Particular treasures were the extra-super-big ones and the extra-super-tiny ones. Special categorical exceptions would be made for any that were exceptionally perfect, or peculiarly wacky in some way. We would each stick our most interesting and anatomically perfect finds of the day on our shirts by their little toe-hooks and wear them as jewelry.

I never liked to wear more than five at a time. Too gaudy.

For decades afterward, despite having reached adulthood and moved at least seven times since those days, I still find the occasional box of locust shells! They make great compost.

And... still great jewelry. I can't resist wearing them whenever I find one!

Skeptics' Circle !)!one!!!!

EEEE, Skeptics' Circle 101 is up at Ionian Enchantment! Give it a read!

Larry Niven took my wine

I have to tell this story because a friend just reminded me of it, and because I'm pathologically incapable of going to bed.

It was my very FIRST EVER time showing art at a science fiction convention, and I was tickled pink just to be in the show!!! I had already met many artists I admired who were awesome and encouraging to me, a newbie, and I was floating on a cloud. Imagine my dewy-eyed excitement when I discovered there would be a reception! For the artists!! With food, and wine!!! I found out somewhat late in the game, but as soon as I found out it was happening, I threw on a nice dress and rushed down there, my tender young heart a-twitter, my eyes all aglow like a tiny tot's on Christmas night.

I arrived rather late, as it turned out, and much of the food and wine had been picked over. The hall was practically swimming in white wine, however. At this point in my life I hated white wine. I shared the opinion of a lot of cajun folk who say the only reason to drink white wine is if there's no more red, and apparently rather a lot of my fellow sci-fi geeks felt the same way. But, no matter! Suddenly I had espied my quarry-- there, on the tray, was one last glass of red wine! It beckoned to me like a grail-shaped beacon.

I strode over, reached out to pluck it from the tray. My arm extended...

...And a man stepped right in front of me, his back not six inches from my face, my arm still reaching even as he deflected its trajectory-- and he took it. The last glass of red. The very glass I had been reaching for.

I asked a staffer if more red wine would be brought out, but they said no more would be served. There was nothing for it but to nurse a glass of white, and to take the MATURE route-- perkily POUT about the incident to all my friends! :D

In fact, it was one of my friends who recognized Mr. Cut-In-Line and told me he was Larry Niven. Double-pout!!! Oh SURE, he's one of the leading lights of the sci-fi genre... but he's an AUTHOR, not an artist! He wasn't even supposed to be there! But of course, my wine-thief's identity only served to turn the incident from annoying to hilarious. I have long since forgiven Mr. Niven, as the incident has spawned a string of inside jokes unsurmounted even by sci-fi con standards among my close friends.

And now, every time I see his books on the shelf, mentally I supply the affectionate byline, "Wine-stealin' bastard!"

In other breaking news, parenting is hard

You know, as parents that have been around the kid-block a bit, i.e., parents of a Kindergartener, we're socially expected to reassure parents of infants that, yes, it does get easier, hang in there, insert soothing comment here.

I think I'm breaking some kind of rule by saying that as it gets easier it also gets harder. 'Cause as they grow up, they accumulate activities after school that you have to be at. Nerve-wracking activities wherein your child is perfectly fine, but YOUR nerves get frayed to bits! Like, say, watching all the other kids play a basketball game while yours decides he wants to crawl down the court instead of running. Or is finally doing a great job of defending the goal, but then has a sudden attack of, "Hey this is interesting, I think I'll climb the back of the goal instead!" Or abruptly falls over, arms outstretched, and says, "I'm Donald Pleasence. I'm dead," because he, too, has been excessively watching The Great Escape. *facepalm*

I'm also beginning to suspect that I, in turn, have been LIED TO by more experienced parents (malicious bastards!), and that I in fact will not get another restful night of sleep for the rest of my life. Or at least another 16 years. I imagine this is the kind of factual omission that is designed to ensure the propagation of the species. Kinda makes me want to say, "F*ck the species and pass me the vodka!"

I end up looking to children's books for comfort. They are sweet and adorable and soothing and make my brain fill up with oxytocin instead of whatever chemical causes one to want to hurl oneself off a moving train into a shark tank on top of an exploding-- well, er, nevermind. I love Alexandra Day's Carl books, for instance. Those are the mostly-wordless picture books about the baby and her kindly Rottweiler babysitter and their fun adventures together whenever Mom goes out. I rather wish for a Carl, myself.

But... am I the only parent who wonders if the baby's mother ought to be reported to Children's Services for leaving her kid in the care of a dog all the time? And then I wonder, based on the complete lack of shock and horror by the neighbors, if maybe Carl's world is some alternate reality wherein superintelligent dogs can be licensed by the state as babysitters. Then I start wondering what the Marvel Universe alternate Earth designation of the superintelligent-dog-nanny Earth would be. Earth 312? Earth 303? But if the dogs are accepted babysitters, why do Carl and the baby hide their adventures from the mother? Then I wonder if it's because superintelligent dogs are feared and hated by an establishment that doesn't understand them. Are there senators trying to pass the Superintelligent Canine Registration Act? Are there giant Sentinel-class robots who hunt the dogs??? Are the Sentinels in the Carl-Earth CAT-SHAPED?????? CAT-SHAPED GIANT ROBOTS SHOOTING LASER-BEAMS AND RAMPAGING ACROSS THE CITYSCAPE, WITH COSTUMED SUPERDOGS FIGHTING TO CONTAIN THE TERROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's about when I remember I'm really sleep-deprived.